Some might say they’ve stumbled upon the Financial Independence community just by chance or by a desire to live life in a completely different way.  I would like to believe that if you dig deeper you’ll find that your interactions with key individuals played a major role in shaping who you are and what you’re striving to achieve.
Before I get ahead of myself let’s take a step back and start with the definition of a keyword … mentor and/or mentorship.

What Is A Mentor?

According to Wikipedia, a mentor is a “more experienced or more knowledgeable person who helps guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. The mentor may be older or younger than the person being mentored, but he or she must have a certain area of expertise. It’s a learning and development partnership between someone with vast experience and someone who wants to learn”.

The balance posted a great Guide to Understanding the Role of a Mentor. I enjoyed the fact the author emphasized how this partnership is a two-way street built on trust in which both the mentor and mentee have specific roles and responsibilities to make the mentorship experience an effective and successful one. I’ve played the role of a mentor and mentee and my take on each boils down to:

Mentor	Mentee
Make a positive difference in someone’s life	Assistance with problem-solving
It becomes part of your life’s legacy	A safe person to share ideas
You will also learn from your mentee	Fresh ideas from a new perspective
You’re giving back and helping to change the world	Learn from another’s vision & experience

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Coaching is another term that resonates with me; however, I think it’s more relevant to managing teams. A Guide to Understanding the Role of a Mentor also lays out the differences between mentoring and coaching which primarily relate to time. Mentoring can be thought of as a long term relationship whereas coaching is typically a relationship of finite duration.

What About a Financial Mentor?

Instead of providing a definition of a Financial Mentor, I think it would be best to identify specific behaviors one should exhibit to deserve such a title.

1. They model the way and lead by example allowing their actions and financial accomplishments to speak for themselves.
2. They inspire others by being living proof of what is achievable and attainable.
3. They challenge the process and oppose to take everything at face value.
4. They keep learning because they recognize change is inevitable.
5. They focus on continuous improvement to maximize efficiencies.
6. They educate others because they simply care.
7. They build trust because that’s a foundational element of any type of relationship.
8. They ask questions because they need to know why.
9. They are goals driven … no goals no glory.
10. They will set expectations and will hold you and themselves accountable.

Finding individuals who exhibit all these behaviors can be a challenge; however, it is not a lost cause. Consider focusing on specific core values that are important so you can identify someone who could potentially become your financial mentor.

My Financial Mentor

The answer is pretty easy … my parents are my financial mentors. Not only have they helped me become the man I am today but have shared these 5 key valuables lessons:

1. Hard Work

I still remember my dad saying “money doesn’t grow on trees you have to work for it“. As kids, we wanted everything.

My parents implemented a rewards system driven by goals. We had to behave, help with chores, and get good grades. In addition, we had side hustles such as washing our cars (or relatives), painting during the holidays, taking out the trash, and other chores around the house.

Looking back, this was an excellent way of building character and appreciation of hard work. Even though we had help around the house, my parents taught us not to take advantage of the situation and to collaborate as appropriate.

Today, we live in a crazy world where “entitlement” is all over the place. We see parents giving everything to their kids even when in the presence of unacceptable behaviors that don’t deserve any type of recognition.

We’re parents of 6 and 2-year-old boys and it’s our responsibility to lead by example. Our boys are still young but we’re trying our best to teach them similar concepts my wife and I learned when growing up.

2. Saying NO

The New York Times wrote an article that discusses why To Raise Better Kids, you have to say NO. I’m pretty sure my parents did not read it because it was published this year 🙂 .

As I previously mentioned, my parents had a system to reward positive behaviors. When the opposite was true, they did not shy away from saying “NO”. Don’t ask me why but we never screamed, threw ourselves on the ground, and caused the wrath of the century.

For some reason, we knew how to tolerate disappointment, frustration, and delaying gratification. Looking back, I really admire the courage and discipline they had because as a parent, I know this is not always easy.

Today, we say NO to our kids when appropriate. For instance, every Sunday at church a family sponsors donuts at the end of mass. Our boys love donuts so we are ok with them having one when they behave in mass. When they don’t it’s game over.

As expected, they cry but we tell the reason behind saying NO. Watching our kids cry crushes our hearts but we believe this is something we have to do and will keep on doing.

3. Staying Out of Debt

In Venezuela, our society is different in terms of limitations that exist for buying stuff on credit. Even though credit cards were available, my parents used them carefully and in most cases paid them in full at the end of the month. This sentiment was definitely passed on to me because I feel the same way about debt.

I’m fortunate to have lived in a society where getting into debt was not as easy as it is in the US. Our reality has changed so we need to remain disciplined to avoid falling into temptations we see all over the place.

We are in good shape (mortgage and our car) but we must stay vigilant and avoid complacency.

4. Saving and Thinking Long Term

My parents believed in saving for the future. Ever since we were kids I remember being told the same thing over and over again …

Son, when things are going great that is when you should be saving the most because you don’t know when things are going to go bad

My dad helped me open up a bank account in the US. I started saving when I was 15 and have never stopped.

I started working at the age of 24 and that’s when my savings grew exponentially to almost 80% of my income. Living with my parents helped; however, I think it was the determination to see my numbers grow.

By 27, I had accumulated a very nice nest egg in the 5 digit range living in Venezuela. This effort was fundamental in helping me cover expenses when pursuing graduate studies when I moved to the US in 2007.

Today, I have a full-time job and my desire to save as much as possible has not changed one bit. My parents sometimes give us a hard time because their perception is we limit ourselves too much but that is not the case.

We are strong believers in paying yourself first and letting our decision-making process be influenced by our personal goals, needs, and the desire to invest in experiences that bring happiness to our lives.

5. Entrepreneurship

My dad worked in the pharmaceutical industry for ~ 20 years. For various reasons, he decided to step out and start his own company when he was in his 40s.

My dad started a company and he did well for some time. He took on additional risk and started the 2nd company. That new venture was not successful and he had to shut it down. He then started a 3rd company that did pretty well.

A new opportunity emerged so he decided to start the 4th company. This one required almost all of his time so he had to shut down his first company and ultimately sell his 3rd. This very last company was really successful and is the one that took him all the way to retirement.

As I mentioned, I work full time and love what I do; however, my parent’s perseverance, teamwork, discipline, business mindset are behaviors that have my utmost respect and admiration.

Whether I follow a similar path or not is to be determined. For the moment, I continue to create multiple sources of passive income and only time will tell If the opportunity comes to start my own gig at some point in the future.

Final Thoughts

• I’m proud to say my parents are my financial mentors but today the mentorship role switches back and forth to take advantage of our learnings and to be a resource to one another where and when appropriate.
• Discovering the FI community has brought a ton of learnings; however, my parents did a phenomenal job teaching me the fundamentals … save & stay out of debt.
• Consider seeking or being a financial mentor.
• Mentoring is something I’m deeply passionate about but I truly believe you need to let potential mentees come to you instead of the other way around.
• One day I hope to become a financial mentor to my kids. The relationship I have with money is something I want to pass on to them and I’m ready for the challenge.

Until next time … JJ